Sex and Courage

I became a massage therapist to make a difference to the wellbeing of myself and others, i was introduced to it, by my love and passion for tantra, which i discovered after reading a book on how to find your purpose. I am lucky enough, although it isn't really luck, its more like hard work, putting up with horrible bosses, doing the daily grind and the whole "working for the man" thing, and getting so sick and tired of just surviving that i had to risk everything and jump into doing what i loved.

Dare to Risk

 

To laugh is to appear the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach for another is to risk involvement. To expose your ideas, your

dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying. To believe is to risk failure.

But risk must be taken,

because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The people who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel,

change, grow, love, live. Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves; they

have forfeited their freedom.

I had heard motivational speakers and authors speak and write about when you are doing what you love, you will never work a day in your life, but thought, until a few years ago, that that was for other people, until it happened to me.

Im saying this because i want you to know what my work means to me and how although i am a risk taker, the thought of me damaging or hurting what i do and love, would have me be heartbroken.

Even in this 21st century, I still have clients who come for regular massages and don't tell anyone, partners, lovers, friends or work associates, for fear they will get the 'wrong" idea.
What kind of world are we living in when touch is such a necessary part of life, and so few of us get enough of it, yet going for a massage is still frowned upon, because massage means touch and touch means sex..... really????  So to then throw tantra into the mix, really stirs things up.

So stir things up i will. Especially if it means removing the stigma.
I do not have sex with my clients. It is my aim, my intention and my purpose to teach and stand for people to be able to have the freedom to create whatever it is in their lives that they truly want, crave yearn..... and.... possibly introduce them to some things they didn't know were possible.

in saying that........

I have to confess, im a little nervous about this post. Only because i have attached it to my newsletter which goes out to all of my amazing clients, who, after reading this may not approve. Nervous because it may change a few things but excited at the thought of the conversations it may instigate.

I have written many a post about sex and tantra over the years, and since my newsletter, it appears that more and more people are reading them... which is wonderful.

Its just that it may invoke change... interesting after my comments last week about how much i am uncomfortable with change, about most of us are uncomfortable with change.
The fact that it is inevitable, is, i think, a great thing, change means we are moving, shifting, growing, hopefully more forward than back :-)

So in speaking of nerves and fear and change and uncomfortable, I have decided to immerse myself in the fear and the uncomfortableness and to post the following, another article about tantra. It is written by a facebook friend of mine by the name of David Jon Peckinpaugh of whyarewewhispering.com

"...I would go so far as to suggest that -- what Tantra actually is about is the cultivation and practice of awareness in the face of that which tends to make the average person go unconscious. Sex and death. Sex and suffering. Love and loss. Little deaths---petit noir---and big deaths.

Tantra---if we dare---asks us to maintain lucidity and awareness in environments where the majority of humans have lost themselves. And yes, it is great to surrender and lose ourselves completely. For many of us that is the thrill and allure of sex and orgasm: to throw ourselves off; to lose ourselves; to be unburdened by the sins of crippling self-consciousness: to "get off" rather than have to be "on" all the time.

And yet if we lose ourselves completely---especially us men---then the surrender generally does not last very long. Not to mention we are not able to respond effectively to the ebbs and flows of our Lover, of our Death, of our World, of This Moment.

I mean, really, let's be honest---do any of us really peak our potential when we become overwhelmed by powerful sensations that make us lose awareness? Isn't it the opposite: that a loss of awareness undermines our potential.

If we can maintain awareness then our potential for pleasure, for enlightenment, for skillfulness, for delicate responsiveness, for sensitivity, for courage, for compassion, for surrender, for relationship increases. It is the one indispensable element in both life and death alike. It is the vein... the "thread".... that runs through our own body-mind that allows us to truly know, in an intimate way, the wonders and the glory and the wisdom alike that are our true heritage.

From a Tantric

And if we are present then wonder of wonders.... we have opened the door to our Lover being present with us---whether this Lover is laying upon the bed next to us or inviting us to come and play in the streets. To dance with the powers that used to make us go unconscious, this is Tantra.

So let us each find something powerful and intense in our lives that used to make us want to run away.... or used to make us want to fight it off.... or used to make us lose control.... and find a way to dance with it without losing our senses.... literally. For if we do, I have a feeling our Self will be thanking us. Maybe even our Lovers, too. ♥" --David Jon Peckinpaugh

I hope this gives you more of an understanding of who i am and what i stand for.....
Until next week xxx

Kelley

one for the ladies......

while researching, what i would write about for women, i discovered a list of what girls really want. I was surprised to see that massage came in at 11 but it also came in at 12 when included in a visit to a day spa. Number one was getting dressed up, (not sure i get that) number 2 was a self given, (really) mani and pedi, number 3 was doing your hair (yourself) what kind of list is this? The top ten then went onto include a (home) day spa??,  watching chick flicks, shopping, signing up for dance classes or gym, spray tans and making a playlist on your ipod.
I must admit, if this is the truth, I know nothing about what women want... and that's saying something considering that i am one. :-)

What happened to being happy and nurtured and being loved and understood, finding our purpose, living our dreams, having a life we love.... Well to be perfectly honest, i say "while researching," but i just googled it once, and found this list and just had to share. Of course we want all those things i mentioned. This was more obviously a list of things for girls to do, not what they really want.
because we all know what they want, they are just like most other humans, we want a massage, but not just a massage to help with a sore back, we want a massage to nurture and honour and touch us, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well.

So in saying that, why don't we go out and get it for ourselves?
We make excuses for spending money and use "necessity" as a reason for it. "We had to go shopping we needed a new pair of shoes for that function or a new dress or......
When we pay for a hair cut, its visible, people can see it, so there is reason. When we buy clothes or accessories, we wear it, so people notice and we have something to show for the $$$ we spent.Even a madi or pedi, we can see the effects on our hands and feet, even if its just a nail colour, its visible to us and to others.

But the exquisiteness of having our bodies nurtured by the hands of a professional, someone who can soothe our bodies, our minds and ultimately, our souls with loving nurturing strokes, soft music, beautiful oils, and the hour or two that has us completely surrender to the moment, relax and replenish ourselves, well that isn't something we are prepared to do?

Please.... tell me.... what you want and why...

if feeling fabulous and being blissed out like a buddhist monk, in a way that will touch move and inspire you, has anything to do with what you may want... let me know, leave a message, go to my website, sign up for the newsletter, like hand heart soul healing and massage on facebook.

I promise you will be glad you did

love and blessings and joy and bliss
xxx

Men men men men many men

Hand Heart Soul Healing and Massage is not only my business, its a huge part of my life and who i am. I absolutely love what i do and who i do it on, and with :)
I really wish i could think of a better word than client, as it implies something that just doesnt sit well with me for some reason, but i cant think of another word or phrase that fits any better.
Most of you who come to see me, are my regulars, I figure you come for a relaxing therapeutic massage to heal your bodies of the stresses and strains of every day life.

Whether it be a job that is draining you emotionally and/or physically or their retirement thats causing those hips or shoulders to fail or your backs to hurt because of all the whipper snippering and manual labour involved with keeping the acerages maintained. Either way, you are sore and in need of some form of touch.
Aren't we all?
Its a basic human thing!
Most of these wonderful people i see, are men, big ones, little ones, old ones, young ones, big boofy builders, tightly wound athletes, or frail old fellas, they may not be aware, or even interested as to why they keep coming back, or why the massage i offer is better or different from most others. Obviously its because it feels good, but why?
These thoughts have crossed my mind as well, so as i look at expanding the practise and bringing in someone to assist me, one or two days per week, i ponder where and who to advertise or direct my marketting towards.
I dont really think of Marketting from a "sales" perspective as much as a "making a difference" perspective. If it is mainly you wonderful men that i am making a difference to, then i want to expand my reach to include more of you.
When i first started in business for myself, i actually, strangely enough, had an idea to work with just women. It was almost as soon as i had the thought, men began to arrive by the truck.load, and sometimes literally :)
I was concerned at first that i was attracting people who were expecting a little more than i was willing to offer. But over these last few years of treating and getting to know all you wonderful masculine males, i realised its about the love, the touch, the honouring and nurturing of the entire mind body and soul.
Us women tend to get that from our girlfriends, we meet for coffee and a chat but we get so much more, we are hugged and held if we need it and listened to and nurtured emotionally and physically if thats what we need.
You big boofy blokes dont seem to get that nurturing, which i guess is one of the reasons why sex is so important to you. Oh and by the way, its very important to us as well, but thats another story for another time :-)
But im sure its why, what we have is so important to you. I know I dont offer you the sex, but i do offer you my ears, a shoulder, my hands, my heart and my soul, to nurture, honour and touch you.

Some of you have met Jade, she has been doing the doubles with me in the Lomi Lomi and also Kat, who is doing the doubles in the Tantralise with me. I want to expand so i will be more available to see the some of you who have been too busy to book and rely on me to be here when our timetables align, which we havent been too successful at so far.

I want you all to know that you are very special to me.
I am extremely grateful for your support since meeting most of you in the little centre on Kenthurst Rd.
I want to continue to support you with nurturing honouring and touch so i would love for you to let me know if there is anything i can do to suport your growth on this journey.

Would you be interested in doing mens groups?

If so would you prefer for it to be facilitated by a male?

Would you be interested in couples sessions or groups? As a way of connecting with others and each other?

Some of you may not be aware of the sessions i offer to enhance your love and relationships.
Send me an email or ask any questions.
Hope to hear from you all soon

xxx

crunchy nut cornflakes at the crack of dawn

Its 5 in the morning and im still awake. i have to be up soon, so probably wont sleep. im hungry and excited and anxious all at the same time.

Another MRI on my brain on August 23. If nothing has changed, NO BIOPSY!!  Yaaayyy!!!!
Im sure its fine, but whenever i get the slightest twinge of a headache, i cant help but worry just a touch, and then i acknowledge the thought and move it on. Although the closer I get to the 23rd, the more i seem to be thinking about it. And i know that is completely normal......

I never normally have trouble sleeping, but because ive been up so long, im also hungry :-)
Does cereal at 5am count as breakfast or a midnight snack when you havent slept?
Either way, crunchy nut cornflakes are great....

Ok im getting tired now and its too late to sleep i think.

Thank goodness for the olympics, although they are possibly contributing to my eating of cornflakes for breakfast when i havent yet slept :-)

i am excited too, although I am a little hesitant to say why, but Im too excited not to. I have a date coming up. Such a pleasant surprise and about bloody time.

So what now??

Well I guess i will watch the fastest men in the world in the 100m Mens Final.

Ok really tired now....

I have to say i cant stop thinking about my date on tuesday.

I have read back on some old post and realise i owe you some updates so I may look at doing that next. im on public transport in and out of the city tomorrow so may do some updating in that time. there are a few things i havent folowed up on.

Ok... "Bolt" from Jamaica won the Gold

im off to sleep for 2 hours, I have abig day tomorrow xxx