As a massage therapist and hands on facilitator of healing, i am blessed daily by ordinary and extraordinary people who come to me, trust in hand, to be touched and healed by hand heart soul.
Never before have i experienced the kind of connection with another human, as the one i experienced today. From the first moment i met this man, i knew he was a stand out, one of the extraordinary people. I read his words before i ever knew what he looked like, or anything about him. Because of his role in his organisation and his community, i did have some idea of who i thought he was going to be, but all i knew was that i wanted to get to know him. In the back of my mind, i knew i was going to learn something, but was not prepared for the way the lesson was going to present itself.
After our first meeting, it was made crystal clear, this man was an extraordinary soul. gentle, strong, passionate, generous, loving and kind. I say this not to blow his trumpet, not as compliments or to put him on a pedestal, although it is tempting, I say this as an acknowledgement to a man who shared himself with me, wholly and completely, i say it to honour the union and the impact of that union on myself and my life and i say, the lives of many who will be impacted by it now and in the future.
I was lucky enough to massage him, and be offered the opportunity of being massaged by him.
I was nervous at first, placing myself in that position and trusting another person to touch me, was a little confronting, he was not a massage therapist, he had no real bodywork credentials, no proof, just his word that he was good and safe. That was good enough for me. And without realising, all of a sudden, my concerns about my possible lack of credentials or credibility, became meanial and void in the moment. it made no bearing on this massage, in fact it has no bearing at all, his technique or how many certificates he had, or where he was educated was of no consequence to me, all that mattered was his comitment, his passion and my trust. He took time out of his very busy schedule to give and receive freely. There was a lesson in there, already, for me and possibly for both of us.
I cant explain to you what happened in those hours, because i have no concept of how to, but i do want to share with you, what has transpired since the experience.
I feel like a 4 year old little girl with a mouth full of lollies, bursting at the seems, trying to have you understand what this tastes like,
Its impossible to do any justice to the experience by attempting to put it into words, but i must do so, for fear that i may explode with excitement. I think i am actually floating on the proverbial air.
Elated, honoured, blessed, nurtured, touched, moved, inspired, respected, gifted, just some of what i am feeling this afternoon.
Some say when i hold their hand at the completion of my massage, that they feel emotional, and that is a beautiful acknowledgement, as the massage is a nurturing, healing, and heart felt experience, it tells me...they got it, and i love that.
When this man held my hand for the first time, between his 2 hands for an extended moment, i burst into tears, i blubbered, ever so quietly into the towel on my table, trying hard to not let him notice. i continued to be moved to tears for the entirety of the massage and even now. We shared stories about his life, his children, his family, his job, his frailties and flaws and his greatest achievements. I was honoured to be trusted with this information, it was the most intimate i think i have ever been with another person, without the charge of being a sexual experience. I really didn't want it to end, and i felt, neither did he. Of course it had to eventually, we swapped places, we continued talking some more, we bonded and connected in those few hours in a way i am sure not all of us are blessed to encounter in our lifetime. We shared a hug, a heartfelt, earthy, strong, beautiful hug, we shared a cuppa, and then we parted with the realisation that this may have been the first and last time, and that it was perfectly ok.
If ever I had any doubts about there being a God, i was now convinced of his existence.
The closest i have ever come to that level of intimacy, actually included sex, so it wasn't the same, and it came as a huge surprise to both of us, neither of us really had any idea what to do with it, so after a sexually charged love fest of only a few short months, we painfully walked away from each other, The loss i felt at that time, is still with me after almost 2 years, in fact, i may never recover, and i have come to the conclusion that i dont want to recover. the lessons i have learnt about myself and humanity, from that communion i would never exchange.
So when i watched this man drive away, i waved and blew a kiss goodbye. As elated as i felt, i also felt a hint of that dreaded loss. I persisted with all the strength i had for the loss to not take over the elation i was feeling.
I saw a client that afternoon, who was lucky enough to share the room with the highly charged kick ass energy still hanging around me and in my healing room. It was an amazing feeling, to hold that love energy with me and use it to heal and nurture the next person.......
And there, right before me, landed the first realisation and lesson from this beautiful man. What if... it was not a fluke, that i was "lucky" enough to have met him and experienced this connection, what if..... it was actually in me, created by me, held by me.... What if..... it was I who attracted and created him into my life. That would mean that i could create this at anytime....... Now we were onto something.
Is this what has been in the way in my relationships.........waiting to be given this??
What i experienced in those few hours was love, pure, unconditional love.
I came inside and checked my emails, messages and texts to find my friend had posted a video of Aurora Borialis, this, if you have never seen it, is what is referred to as The Northern Lights, and to see it and know it is a natural phenomenon, is a Godly experience, and comparable in proportion to what I had just experienced, so obviously God was involved.
This man and i have not spoken since, but for a number of emails back and forth, with comments shared about a rare and beautiful gift, about this gift staying with us for ever more to heal and nurture people, including ourselves, when ever we need it. Comments like Thank you just not being adequate.Like, only knowing snippets of each others lives but touching eternity in that snippet.
Its difficult to know what the future holds and where to go from here, but even if I never see this man again, and that would be a significant tragedy for me, I know it was all worth it. I know i am a better person for the communion we shared, i know the world is a better place because of it, and i know it was A God thing,
Thank you Aurora :-)
P.S
In inspiration and acknowledgement to this encounter, i have created, with a very good friend and colleague, a 6 week program beginning on March 13, affectionatey called Tantralising Tuesdays, where for a small fee, visitors will be invited to spend a few hours in a group session/workshop/circle just to learn and experience how to touch and connect, with others. How to "BE" in a relationship and much more. Guests will be encouraged to either come alone or to bring friends, lovers, husbands wives, girlfriends, boyfriends etc and learn massage techniques, learn how to connect with each other on a soul level, share what our fears are around relationship, acknowledge and celebrate the masculine and feminine in us all. to honour our power, expand our personal power and live an etraordianary life whilst using and being with our life force energy
I will keep you informed
xxx
