The sale of the soul

We opened the clinic on feb 10, 2014

Hand Heart Soul Healing and Massage had a new space to see guests that was outside of my home. Not anything quite like our humble beginings in Kenthurst in the roadside flower garage that we renovated. But beautiful in its own right.

I loved the practise I created with my chalk boards for signs back in Kenthurst, inviting in the people who needed to be healed and a few who were somehow lost and just wanted a place to be.

I sometimes found the odd oddity who was looking for something a little extra that we didnt cater for and they eventually moved on and tried somewhere else.

Then one of those oddities decided he wanted to exercise his power and contact the local council to have me thrown out. Some people in this world still feel as though massage clinics are clearly whore houses... I was closed down only 6 months after I began...

So I moved the business home.. where it flourished.

Suite 10 was , I guess not somewhere I would have chosen on my own but I had a friend and confidante with me who could see potential. Lucky for me I listened and there we were.

Our signs were now printed and professional and we had commercial premises in a suite upstairs on top of a post office and the local hairdresser.... who happened to be the co-owner of the building.

It was only a few weeks after we opened that my friend, confidante and business partner found himself in hospital and unable to massage. It was a sign that I needed to do this on my own.

I had a great time for the first few months and then it became clear that hand heart soul was losing something. Actually nothing was being lost, it was being hacked away at, from both sides. There was a force within the building, who was not happy with me being there and  I allowed it to overcome and sometimes smother my passion. There was someone whom I allowed to get under my skin. Someone who smirked and snarled at my soul. Someone who made snide remarks and attempted to crush that which was being built.

It felt a little like history repeating itself... and I wasnt secure enough to ignore it. So it festered.. until one day it just got too much.

My lease on the suite was due for renewal on Feb 10,  2015. I had decided that with everything going on,  with the issues I was having with the other tennant, I was not going to renew.
I was going to close the doors.

By now my beautiful friend was well out of hospital and almost completely healed.  In his genius, he suggested i put a price on HHS and sell the business. ... I wil be forever grateful...

In November 2014. Hand Heart Soul was officially for sale. I was so blown away by the interest it drew. The baby I birthed and fed had grown from chalk board signs on the side of the road and was actually worth something to someone else. 

My ad was being seen by over 300 people per week. I was receiving about 10 emails and taking around 15 calls and showing an average of 3 to 5 people per week my little clinic.

It was an extraordinary feeling to know that you had built something from nothing and it had value not only to me but to someone else.

I was choosy who I allowed to see it. I didnt want just anyone to buy it and to turn it into something it wasnt.

I wanted you my guests and clients to all be honoured and taken care of.

The strangest request I had was from a man who had no idea about massage or business but seemed really drawn to hand heart soul. I may never know what the attraction was but he seemed committed, although unreliable in his approach.

He proposed that I interview for staff to replace me. So he could take over knowing that a therapist or 3 were able to manage the work load.

At first i thought him crazy but then I saw it as an opportunity to do what I had always wanted to do....expand and grow.

I agreed to do it.. and he paid a deposit.

Eventually 3 amazingly talented and passionate people found me and I knew straight away they were the ones I wanted to replace me. Theybstarted immediately. Some of you have met Catherine and Audrey and Bruce.

By the time this new owner, lets call him "P" had paid a deposit I had 3 new therapists starting and my sore hands and I could take a well earned break... P convinced me to stay around for 6 months to oversee and manage the clinic. I was reluctant at first, but was convinced it would be a good thing.

I got excited about doing this.. I wanted to make the transition for you guys and the new staff to be a wonderful experience. P paid the balance of sale and we exchanged contracts and all went well for about a week

Then the ugly tennant reared his small mind and dirty mouth to inform me that he knew what kind of business I was running and that he would see the end of it... and that he did.

What happened next was a bit of a blurr.
The police were called late one evening because I called the little man a creep and he called me a whore and a  prostitute. P was informed. The owner of the building was informed and then the real estate decided that I was no longer welcome in the building.

P also needed to take responsibility for a big part in this fiasco as the gaps in his business abilities left alot to be desired.
P had just paid a considerable amount of money for my business and had not paid for the lease. 

After an inappropriate conversation between P and the staff, they all resigned.

Which brings me to the present day. The clinic has closed its doors and will not reopen, as far as I am aware.

The worst part of all this is trying to explain this to all of you.

I know your lives do not rely on my massage, but for a period of time, your presence and your loyalty is what made my life. You came and you were touched and in doing so I was touched. 

I want you to know how blesssed I am and how grateful for all of you, I am. Some of you I saw every week and some only occasionally.  Some of you have been with me since you saw the blackboard signs in Kenthurst all those years ago. And some of you have become regulars only in the last year of suite 10. And some i may have only seen once or twice.

Its important for me to say and for you to know what you all mean to me. Even those of you I only saw once. You ALL contributed somehow to my life and I thank you.

Hand heart soul was my first real business and the only one I was passionate about. So to see the doors close, even though it was no longer mine.. is so sad for me and difficult to tell you.
So I hope you understand what you all meant to me and I hope you continue to enjoy the benefits of massage with another soul who touches you and your life the way you have touched mine.

Thank you
Love and blessings
Kelley

If you have any questions, please dont hesitate to call me
0416 080 195

Hand Heart Soul will rise again in the form of massage training and workshops for singles couples and groups.
See our fb page
www.facebook.com.au/handheartsoul

Sex, love, touch, relationships, wheelchairs and disability

<p dir=ltr>When I asked for advice about by dream coming to fruition and what it looked like to someone else. I asked a man who works in the industry of real estate, a generous and caring man, a family man, a man who knows and appreciates what I do and understands who I am and that I am grounded from the heart. So when he said he believed in me and what I was doing but not in the place I had chosen, I was somewhat crushed. In that moment,all I could think about was how I was going to do it anyway and then explain to him that I had listened to him but taken no notice and done what I wanted.

It was a great feeling to know that I was so committed to my dream that I was doing it regardless.

As the dream became closer to reality and with a growing tuma of uncertainty in the pit of my stomach, I spoke once again to my friend in realestate.

He looked at the property again, he kindly sat outside of it and watched traffic flow and assured me it was NOT the place for my Soul Centre.

This time I knew it was not the time for my dream to be realised. In the moment I got that, I knew straight away there was something extraordinary about to happen.........I wasnt sure exactly what that was, but I had to assume it was wonderful. A couple of weeks before this happened, I was invited to what I thought was a meeting with a group of social entrepreneurs. It turned out to be an introduction for a course run by the "School of Social Entrepreneurs" It was inspiring and exciting how at home I felt in a room full of strangers. I spoke about my idea for creating touch and love and sex for people in wheelchairs and other disabilities, and my ideas were welcomed. I put in an application to apply for the course and was accepted. . I am half way through the four month programme and creating a social enterprise called "talking about sex in wheelchairs" I am so proud of these humble beginnings. The website is well on its way, the facebook page is up and thriving www.facebook.com/talkingaboutsexinwheelchairs, we are applying for funding and grants. We are also looking for contributors, blog writers, article writers and as many people as possible to come together where finally there is a safe space to talk openly and learn to create touch, love and relationships. If you feel at all inspired, intrigued or interested, we would love you to find us on facebook, and like and share our page. You never know the difference you may make in the life of someone you don't even know. Ever wondered how or if its possible to have sex in a wheelchair.... Spread the word and come find out xxx Hope to see you there soon xxx right

Sex and Time or is that "Sex any Time"

Its an interesting life when your life is the only life you have.
I've been making lots of plans recently and it has become crystal clear that I only have one life at the moment, there may be more after this one is complete, but right here right now I only have one.

You may hear people or even yourself refer to different parts of your life as my business life or my married life or my parenting life.

Im expanding and recreating my business at the moment and I am constantly reminded how I try to keep things separate, whilst trying desperately to hold it all together and balance everything. I have been working from home for a few years, so having clients come into my home is sometimes confronting. Is the livingroom tidy? What are the girls doing? I hope they stay quiet. I hope they don't make a noise when they leave or arrive or bang the door. I am confronted by two of my lives clashing. Now I'm expanding and moving out of home to work and I'm worried that the girls are ok, that they are being parented adequately and holistically, that they are fed and listened to and validated and taken care of. Its a big thing having multiple lives.

Then a few days ago in a meeting with a friend and an advisor, a mate of mine said something quite profound. All the things we do and all the things we are, are all a part of our one life. We don't have separate ones, we just have this one.

"Of course" I assumed, but then this last week it has occurred to me that I live my one life like I have mutiple lives to attend to. I find myself rushing from one life to another and none of them are ever in integrity.

I am first and foremost a woman, then mother, then in no particular order comes massager, healer, lover, friend, soul searcher. I am a doer of things,a creator of ideas, possibilities and bliss, and its all the same life.

That's an exciting life. I am so blessed.

So I invite you to consider that this one life you have at present is the one we need to concentrate on. Have it all work for you at the same time.
How do we do that? I hear you ask, well, we plan it, we diarise it.

If I use my diary for appointments for my clients, then I will also use it to slot times for my children, their appointments I need to be at, our chill time, our favourite tv shows we watch together, and even dinner appointments together to share about their days and their lives.

It sounds simple but it also sounds tedious and strategic to diarise times for your children. But when you are someone who is busy and needs to make money to feed and care for us all....... it works it, it just does. And if you diarise it, you will make it happen.

So I invite you to diarise everything you can think of, especially the things you say you never have time for like dinner together, sex, movies even massage.
I promise, even if you pick one of those things, you will feel so free and honoured and in integrity, especially if you choose massage hehehe.

Seriously though, I hear you say" I can't diarise sex, it takes the spark and the romance out of our relationship"..... Well so does not having sex at all...... I rest my case.

Another way of looking at it, is to diarise "time together" Sometimes its not the sex we need its the connection, the touch, the intimacy of sharing not just what happened today but how I'm feeling or what I'm dealing with...

Please just try it, I'm sure your partner will appreciate it.....a lot. And for those of us who don't have a partner, have a bubble bath,or meditate or just spend time with you or book that massage you have been meaning to have forthelast few months. Its imperative. DO IT NOW!!!!

Pleeeeaasee let me know how you go, id love to hear how its working for you... Or not!
And I will do the same.

Kelley xxx

Oh and if you don't have a diary, buy one or use your phone

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Chakradance

Chakradance

and the

Dance of Muladhara

This was an extraordinary experience for me. I had been thinking about it for days and when i thought about i just had this amazing cheesy grin on my face. Never actually attended a class, I just watched the YouTube videos, i really was quite unsure as to what was going to happen. Base/root Chakra was present in my clients as well this week, whether i noticed that they were more blocked than usual or the fact that i had shifted something which in turn assisted them to shift as well. It was serendipitous and quite moving this week.

So today when i had the whole house to myself, I sat in my healing room, my sacred space. It was enough just as it was, i had daylight from outside shining through the blinds and not even a candle, i could smell the essential oils of ylang ylang and my coconut oil, but apart from that and the music, i was alone.

I was semi naked, as i am when i have the whole house to myself. In the meditation i was grinning. I found myself rocking a little to the beat of the drums, even through the meditation. With the first part of the dance moving upward through the chakras, it was incredibly invigorating. Dance and movement is moving energy far more profoundly than with anything else i have ever tried.

Root chakra was as i expected, quite tribal and energising, sacral was more flowing and luscious, I did feel quite aroused and just went with it. Solar plexus was a little harsh when the power was present, but balanced out when i moved to heart. To my surprise my heart chakra was a little closed, i really had to stretch my chest open to allow the energy to move through. Throat was amazing, probably my most ecstatic leap. I was gyrating and my arms were flowing in liquid movements pushing the energy up through my throat to my third eye, which was a little more inward, noticing all the images of me teaching a class and although my eyes were closed, i was seeing images of myself flowing and dancing amongst a group of students, none of which i knew, it was amazing...more smiles. Then crown, my arms lifted out above my head imitation petals of the lotus, they were open and drawing me up further and higher. It was like i was closer to what i know as god, than ever before, i was really moved and began to cry. I was soo excited.

 

Now we began the base chakra dance and i could hardly wait for it to begin. I loved the rhythm and my body just took over, i was imagining myself completely losing all control (which is hard for a control freak) but divine when i manage it. And manage it i did. I had no idea how long i was girating and moving for, but i was journeying through a jungle and i had to push trees and vines out of the way, my feet were stomping in the uneven earth, and i came to a clearing wondering what animal i was about to see, i saw some large cats, lions and leopards, but they passed. I saw a wolf, and we touched heads but he moved on, then there was this enormous matriarch elephant who appeared in front of me, we moved closer to each other and she began to rock with the music, like she could hear it too, we moved closer to each other and then i somehow became her, My trunk was flowing like a belly dancer and my head was lifting and dropping and my feet were thumping into the earth. Then after a period of time my trunk became a snake, with my other arm the end of the snake and I was moving like an Indian dancer who was half human and half snake. It went on for what seemed like hours, then this beautiful goddess appeared before me and stepped into me. i felt she was a Bodhisattva, we danced together and then the snake and the elephant and the jungle were all in harmony.

It was like the deepest meditation i have ever been in.

 

Namaste

 



It must be christmas

I didnt have a great childhood...not at all.
There isnt much about christmas that fills my heart with anything that resembles joy.
But for some reason tonight when the living room door was open and the room was filled with christmas beatles... I felt happy possibly even joyful.
I remember them flying into the screendoor when i was probably about 8 and younger. It was always hot and steamy and finding them and letting them go was what seemed llike fun. So tonight i collected the few that were on the floor and set them free iut onto the yard...
I began to think about how blessed i am to have what i have and who i have around me.
One of my dearest friends moved into the house i just moved out of, so we are neighbours. Im so pleased that they are filling the house and making it a home. She came over tonight with a present for me to say thank you for making it possible for them to move in...
It was a funny kind of present as presents go, but one i am soo excited and an in need of. I am loving it.
The joys of shade cloth!!!!
Im using it to add some privacy to our courtyard. I will now be able to scurry from the bathroom to the rest of the house in the nuddy knowing with great confidence that her children and the people walking their dogs at all times of the day will not fall over with fear as they see me streak by the glass doors
So i am very happy xxx
Seeing the faces of my girls on christmas morning when they were little was just glorious.
Nowadays.. We make our own family memories...goodones!!!
As I dont see my mum or brother, my dad is in armidale this year and im not sure i can make it to see him.. So we are going to be together just the three of us.
A little nervous about what to do to make it fun and happy and joyous sooooooo....................... the girls and i are serving christmas lunch to sydneys homeless at the wayside chapel at kings cross. I am really excited to be able to do this with my babies.
I have always wanted to do it, but always felt as though i would be letting people down. But the girls are actually excited about it and we are not letting anyone down, we are making many peoples day joyous... Including ours.
So wherever you are and whatever you are doing... May you be joyous
With much love and many blessings to you and yours on this festive and sometimes festy season
My thoughts are with you xxx
Happy holidays
Kelley

naked bodies

a few years ago, possibly 5, i took a leap of faith and courage and did some research to find out what was necessary to become a life model.

i joined an artists forum online and met an amazing and very beautiful

 man who somehow, taught me everything i needed to know. i only met him once or twice but he recommended me to art societies and sketch clubs all over sydney. I worked the circuit for about 2 years, turns out artists love curvy models. I went from liverpool to the northern beaches and bondi to richmond.

i had an amazing time. i remember my very first job. he had arranged for a friend to meet me there to make me feel more comfortable. i was so nervous i dont think i moved very much at all. but i was acknowledged particularly for my curves... now i understand why.

i fell in love with the art world all over again. i was called upon often and regularly. i always had a longing to be on the other side and draw a body. although i did consider myself to be arty at school, i never really pursued it and i never drew people, never ever.

i saw a post on facebook that the brett whitely studio/gallery/museum (my favourite artist), was offering life drawing classes. i made it known i would like to do it and my daughter, bless her, asked a few friends to chip in for my birthday.

it has been an amazing adventure and i write now on the train heading to my last class of the term. i have learnt so very much, not only about life drawing but about myself. most importantly.....i am pretty good. i have a dramatic style....funny that, i hear you say. 

this is my favourite piece so far.......

im a little sad about not having my Saturday class anymore. i love my tutor and although we rarely speak to each other as we are so all consumed in our masterpieces, i love my fellow students as well.

 

~0o0~

 



Ok so i am now on my way home on the train. I stayed back and looked at every book poster and postcard i could find for inspiration. It worked. Jenny our tutor told me i should consider painting. I think id like to do brush and ink as well. I really got into the shoe polish thingy today.

Here are couple of my favourites from today's class.

                          

So i guess the reason for my post today was to share my inspiration of the human body. I really love it even more than i thought i would or ever realised i did.

 

Albert Einstein said "creativity is contagious, spread the word" I certainly agree xxx

A day in the Cross

A great day at the cross today. Massaging and chatting to the  youth on the street.
Its taken a while to be accepted as a volunteer.
The young vistors to wayside are quite wary of new people, im sure all visitors feel somewhat the same way. i imagine mainly because there a very few constants in their lives. It is so for them that people dont stay in one place for too long, hence, stay in their lives at all. Many of the people they consider friends, are not really.what you and i call friends.

Its taken about 8 months to have them actually call me by name or instigate a conversation, particularly a conversation to tell me something about whats going on for them.
So i am feeling pretty chuffed and very honoured to see the difference being made.
I was asked today to consider if there was a programme i would like to run in the Youth Space. Something to engage them, offer them,a skill or an escape or just a place to be creative.
Im considering a few ideas. Please let me know if you have any experience with youth aged 16-25. Id love to hear your ideas. Send them on, even if you think its crazy.
Some of these guys have mental health or drug issues but most are just looking for a place to be, a place to be met and not judged. Pretty simple really. Anything we can think of to keep them engaged, or keep them safe from harm. Or just to entertain them and show them some fun, would be great.

Love and Blessings xxx