On Wednesday my eldest daughter turned 16
We had an agreement from many years ago. As I was not and am not one of those organised and happy birthday party organisers, I made arrangements with them. My girls had a few early years parties, but we all agreed on a party at 10 for double digits, a party at 13 for being a teenager, a party at 16, because its sweet and then that was it till maybe 21, depending on our situations.
Now getting back to our sweet sixteen party.
I think I was nearly as excited as her. I did manage to plan and organise everything, well almost. I thought I was completely prepared (thought being the operative word here) I should have suspected something when I found it so difficult to book a venue.
Approximately 150 invitations went out.......
Let me just break here for a moment and fill you in on a little background information.
When my daughter started high school 4 years ago. It was just like every other child beginning high school, but she was mine, so of course everything was going to be fine.....Mmmmmmmm.
To cut a very long, but very important story short. She was targeted by the groups of , lets just say, Mean Girls, for not being one of them, for being too beautiful, not smoking and swearing and screwing everything that moved, for not having big enough tits, for having braces or being friends with the boys and not so popular people... You get my drift here, right?
After fighting the system for 3and a half years, 3 months ago, we decided to change schools. A risk. In the hope of creating a positive school memory to look back on with love not war.
So....... To even have 150 people to invite was a huge accomplishment. She was so excited and thrilled at the fact that everyone in her new year at school wanted to be a part of that new life.
On Friday night 24th September, the party began at 7pm.
We had the dress, the shoes, the jewellery, the hair and make up. I had a venue, balloons, Cake, 3 DJ's with a light and laser show, friends and I doing security, alcohol not permitted, a list of names at the door, no name on list = No Entry and Security wrist bands. I thought I had it covered.
Everything was going great. With a few extras coming through the door, bags being confiscated due to alcohol smuggling and a few strong confrontational conversations with 16 - 18 year old boys who thought they were all important and very cool, we were very pleased that everything was on track.
The party was due to end with the DJ's ceasing the music at 11 and everyone out by 11.30.
At 10pm, I was outside checking out the sly drinkers and making sure the girls were behaving and everyone was off the street and inside the fence.
All of a sudden, my vision was blurred as 2 young male upstarts ran passed me at the speed of light and jumped the fence. The next thing I saw was one of the DJ's at the front door with a bloody nose. The music had stopped, the lights in the auditorium were blacked out and a confused, curious and not so happy crowd was gathering.
Before I knew it there was an all in brawl on the outside of the fence. Punches were being thrown and boys were wrestling on the ground. I very quickly called the police, I was nearly knocked over in the rush of kids wanting to see the fight. I was busy trying to convince everyone to stay inside.
The police arrived, some older friends of the DJ looked a bit worse for wear. There was a little blood, a few injuries, my daughter was being consoled by friends. My worst nightmare was being realised.
I kept calm, I spoke to the police, the problem makers looked like they had moved on. However, by 10.15pm the party was over. I had all the guests organise to be picked up as soon as possible. After the police had left, some crazies arrived with metal bars to seek revenge on the kids that punched their friend.
I called the police again and gave them descriptions and vehicle registration numbers. Rumour had it they were headed about 500 metres up the road to the local McDonalds to "Get" the kids that caused it.
Unfortunately the police didn't make it in time. My daughters boyfriend was caught and bashed.
Everyone is ok, no one hospitalised, minimal damage, bruised egos and no doubt more physical ones, disappointment and fear and no doubt some emotional scars were left behind.
I was truly surprised and in some ways completely shocked at this behaviour. I knew it existed, just not in my immediate world. Some say I should have expected it, some say, oh well at least no one was hurt, some say at least the party was a success till 10pm and some say sorry. I say NO!
I say Peace. I say Love.
What can we do to inspire the young? What has youth at the, meant to be, tender age of 16 want to start a war? What makes youth have no sense of responsibility? What can we, our generation do to alter this in our youth? Is there anything we can do?
The police did everything within their power to help, they were great, but there was no respect for their presence, there was no fear of getting into any trouble. To some degree the police were handcuffed. The instigators got away, the victims are still out for revenge and wouldn't share any information with the police to have these boys caught and brought to justice... They wanted their own.
What are we as parents doing to cause this?
What can we be responsible for?
Who are we being in our life, in this world, that this behaviour is still occurring in the 21st century?
Something I keep close by and try to remember everyday.
Author unknown
Has responsibility become a dirty word?
Does this idea of Responsibility inspire you?
If so, what can you see that may make a difference?
We had an agreement from many years ago. As I was not and am not one of those organised and happy birthday party organisers, I made arrangements with them. My girls had a few early years parties, but we all agreed on a party at 10 for double digits, a party at 13 for being a teenager, a party at 16, because its sweet and then that was it till maybe 21, depending on our situations.
Now getting back to our sweet sixteen party.
I think I was nearly as excited as her. I did manage to plan and organise everything, well almost. I thought I was completely prepared (thought being the operative word here) I should have suspected something when I found it so difficult to book a venue.
Approximately 150 invitations went out.......
Let me just break here for a moment and fill you in on a little background information.
When my daughter started high school 4 years ago. It was just like every other child beginning high school, but she was mine, so of course everything was going to be fine.....Mmmmmmmm.
To cut a very long, but very important story short. She was targeted by the groups of , lets just say, Mean Girls, for not being one of them, for being too beautiful, not smoking and swearing and screwing everything that moved, for not having big enough tits, for having braces or being friends with the boys and not so popular people... You get my drift here, right?
After fighting the system for 3and a half years, 3 months ago, we decided to change schools. A risk. In the hope of creating a positive school memory to look back on with love not war.
Dare to Risk
To laugh is to appear the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your
dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying. To believe is to risk failure.
But risk must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing, have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel,
change, grow, love, live. Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves; they
have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
Author Unknown
On Friday night 24th September, the party began at 7pm.
We had the dress, the shoes, the jewellery, the hair and make up. I had a venue, balloons, Cake, 3 DJ's with a light and laser show, friends and I doing security, alcohol not permitted, a list of names at the door, no name on list = No Entry and Security wrist bands. I thought I had it covered.
Everything was going great. With a few extras coming through the door, bags being confiscated due to alcohol smuggling and a few strong confrontational conversations with 16 - 18 year old boys who thought they were all important and very cool, we were very pleased that everything was on track.
The party was due to end with the DJ's ceasing the music at 11 and everyone out by 11.30.
At 10pm, I was outside checking out the sly drinkers and making sure the girls were behaving and everyone was off the street and inside the fence.
All of a sudden, my vision was blurred as 2 young male upstarts ran passed me at the speed of light and jumped the fence. The next thing I saw was one of the DJ's at the front door with a bloody nose. The music had stopped, the lights in the auditorium were blacked out and a confused, curious and not so happy crowd was gathering.
Before I knew it there was an all in brawl on the outside of the fence. Punches were being thrown and boys were wrestling on the ground. I very quickly called the police, I was nearly knocked over in the rush of kids wanting to see the fight. I was busy trying to convince everyone to stay inside.
The police arrived, some older friends of the DJ looked a bit worse for wear. There was a little blood, a few injuries, my daughter was being consoled by friends. My worst nightmare was being realised.
I kept calm, I spoke to the police, the problem makers looked like they had moved on. However, by 10.15pm the party was over. I had all the guests organise to be picked up as soon as possible. After the police had left, some crazies arrived with metal bars to seek revenge on the kids that punched their friend.
I called the police again and gave them descriptions and vehicle registration numbers. Rumour had it they were headed about 500 metres up the road to the local McDonalds to "Get" the kids that caused it.
Unfortunately the police didn't make it in time. My daughters boyfriend was caught and bashed.
Everyone is ok, no one hospitalised, minimal damage, bruised egos and no doubt more physical ones, disappointment and fear and no doubt some emotional scars were left behind.
I was truly surprised and in some ways completely shocked at this behaviour. I knew it existed, just not in my immediate world. Some say I should have expected it, some say, oh well at least no one was hurt, some say at least the party was a success till 10pm and some say sorry. I say NO!
I say Peace. I say Love.
What can we do to inspire the young? What has youth at the, meant to be, tender age of 16 want to start a war? What makes youth have no sense of responsibility? What can we, our generation do to alter this in our youth? Is there anything we can do?
The police did everything within their power to help, they were great, but there was no respect for their presence, there was no fear of getting into any trouble. To some degree the police were handcuffed. The instigators got away, the victims are still out for revenge and wouldn't share any information with the police to have these boys caught and brought to justice... They wanted their own.
What are we as parents doing to cause this?
What can we be responsible for?
Who are we being in our life, in this world, that this behaviour is still occurring in the 21st century?
Something I keep close by and try to remember everyday.
Author unknown
Responsibility
Responsibility starts with saying you are cause in the matter.
Responsibility is not burden, fault, blame, praise, credit, shame or guilt. In responsibility there is no evaluation of good or bad, right or wrong.
There is simply what’s so and your stand.
Being responsible begins with the willingness to deal with a situation from the point of view that you are the generator of what you do, what you have and what you are. This is not the truth.
It is a place to stand.
No one can make you responsible, nor can you impose responsibility on another. It is a grace you give yourself – an empowering context that leaves you with a say in the matter of life
Has responsibility become a dirty word?
Does this idea of Responsibility inspire you?
If so, what can you see that may make a difference?
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